Ninety-seven percent of people are stupid and three percent of people are hipsters.

If you think you are not a hipster then you are a hipster.

It is meaningless being a middle-class white person.

Everything will be all right if you can attain an intense degree of control over your self-image.

Everything will be all right if you can remain intensely judgemental of every other human being in existence.

Do not talk to any other human being and your extremely high level of self-esteem can be maintained indefinitely.

If you stare blankly into the distance for the rest of existence you can never possible be ‘fucked with’ by another human being.

If you must laugh, laugh inside the confines of your brain.

Laugh all of the time at how stupid ninety-seven percent of people can be almost all of the time.

 

There are certain records that when played backwards do not sound good.

It takes a certain level of stupidity to believe in the existence of God.

Severe depression and moderate intelligence correlate absolutely.

When Heath Ledger died some people who did not know him felt sadness.

Social cohesion is based on people believing that certain inconsequential events are ‘incredibly important’.

The ‘human enterprise’.

A ‘grand plan’ for humanity.

I think there is probably a blueprint for living in the cellar of somebody's house maybe.

 

I don’t care about being ‘manipulated’ so long as the ongoing process of ‘manipulation’ is enjoyable at all times.

Please get ‘fucked up’ with me on Saturday night otherwise I will probably feel alone and uncomfortable.

 

All life is, is making a choice and then making another choice.

All choices are equally ‘wrong’.

The central point of every human being’s life philosophy is a hallucination.

If my hallucination is not similar to yours we cannot communicate.

If nobody shares your hallucination you will feel unutterably alienated from the rest of humanity. 

That's probably not as bad as it sounds.

‘Sexually-explicit socially-progressive clothing company advertisement.’

‘Overwhelming need for self-definition on a massive scale.’

‘Vegetarian diet boom.’

‘Rayban.’

‘American Apparel.’

‘Vice Magazine.’

‘Apple Computer.’

‘Polaroid.’

Beautiful.